Dysfunction Junction Blog

If you think about it, we, as the audience and consumer, decide what is acceptable behavior from a teenage celebrity.  If a politician does something we disagree with, they are snubbed, and/or voted out of office or lose their chances at re-election.  What happens to a kid that is way overpaid and acts out in a way no one finds acceptable (except maybe a like-minded kid) – more fame and money. I have an idea…let’s train the up and coming teenage celebrity like we would a dog.

A favorite approach while training a dog is to reward a desired behavior the second it occurs.  The positive behavior may be anchored with a treat, verbal praise such as “good dog”, and/or a vibrant “yes” as they are rewarded.  This works well for most dogs.

Old school training focused more on the correction aspect of the behavior.  The undesired behavior or lack of a response to our command, and the dog was corrected.  It worked but most found the positive training approach easier on the human and the dog and they still obtained the desired result.

Let’s practice a similar approach to training humans. What if everyone  ignored the unwanted behavior of celebrities/musicians and only rewarded the desired behavior or what we are actually paying them to do?  Imagine the surprise of a young musician like Justin B. when they disappear from the limelight while acting out.  We would merely be ignoring the poor behavior in anticipation of a positive experience for them when they do good. As it is now, the worse the behavior, the more they are noticed which serves to get them more attention thus rewarding the behavior and encouraging more of the same.  Any dog knows this.

It seems we have things backwards.  The more outrageous someone is, the more attention they receive.  I know that’s how it is and has been.  I know the more severe a behavior and the more destructive a movie, the higher the sales.  For those of you thinking it’s all no big deal and want to tell me to just turn off my TV, I will and do.  That won’t stop me from being amazed and disappointed that so many are willing to   promote (with money and lots of it) such annoying, unacceptable behavior.

I can’t tell you a single song that Justin sings, but I know he egged his neighbors house and has a drugs/alcohol problem.  Why is that glorified?  I may be a minority – no, I know I’m a minority, but I don’t care what an actor or musician does other than the expectation that if they are in the public eye, they act like we’re paying them for good behavior.  Quite the opposite is true, and our society is at fault.

I know I will be waiting alone and for a very long time before I give up a, “good boy” to Mr. B.  For now, I’ll stick with training dogs.

Those who know me have most likely heard me speak about my concern and the “bad” feeling I get when surrounded by all things pink.  You know…the pink skillets, toasters, and even hand guns!

This Sunday is the Susan G. Komen race for the cure in Seattle.  I have participated in the past, as I am a 2-year breast cancer survivor.  (Dang.  It still grabs me when I say it.)  I will not be participating this year.  I know my lack of enthusiasm for the event seems a little odd even to me.  I feel like I’m betraying the sisterhood.

I have come to realize I want a celebratory parade because fewer women are dying from breast cancer.  A huge party and race for fun because fewer women are diagnosed with breast cancer. I am all in for a celebration of life and to be surrounded by so many amazing women moves me to tears.  I am moved to tears for a different reason when I think of all the money that is donated and yet there has been very little improvement for the detection and treatment of breast cancer.  Detecting cancer early is not preventing it. There needs to be more of a focus on prevention.  There needs to be options for less invasive treatment.

Following my diagnosis, I found little support with any thinking outside of the standard treatment protocol.  It’s as though I was immediately placed on the treatment-for-breast-cancer conveyer belt.  I could barely wrap my brain around the concept of my having cancer and now I have to do what?  And when?  It needs to be acceptable to question cancer treatment.  Why aren’t there more treatment centers like the ones found in Europe?  Why?  Why? Why?  We should all be asking a lot of questions about where the billions of dollars that are donated each year are going.  What’s with all the companies getting in on the pink brigade to make a few cents off of cancer?  Please, think before you pink!  Give the money to one of the local charity organizations that disperses the funds into the community for support and care of women with cancer.

I am so grateful to all of you who have been with me through my questioning and have listened to my complaints, concerns, and sometimes rants.  I know its not always the best seat in the house.

She said, “no babe, I don’t mind.  Go out with the guys.  Have some fun.  You deserve it. You work hard.  I’ll be fine.”

What She Thought. . .

She thought, “I can’t believe he’d go out with his friends when he could be home with me while I color my hair and do my nails.  He thinks he works hard.  He should try doing my job.  I’m a lot more fun than those guys.  What if he meets someone else?  I wonder when he’ll be back?  Should I wait up or play it cool and pretend I’m sleeping when he returns?  I’m calling Susan.  She won’t believe this.  He’s going to regret leaving me at home.”