What Is Sexual Harassment?
The recent onslaught of sexual harassment accusations brought up some not so fond memories of my own. Much of my career has been in a male-dominated workplace. I wish that didn’t equate to my being harassed, but it did. Some may not have intended it as such, but is it ever? One of my first experiences was when I was 18 years old.
I worked at Edwards Air Force Base as a clerk-stenographer. I was working for a year after high school before heading off to college. My boss was Senior Master Sergeant Raymond Miller. I was a young, woman (a virgin by the way) who found myself working with a man who spent his time hitting on me. I’m not sure of his age, but he definitely fit into my father’s age bracket.
He called me, “Sweet Pea.”. There’s a lot of respect in that reference – NOT. He would ask me to come into his office so he could watch me walk in and walk out. How do I know? He told me. He would also tell the men who came to his office for briefings and meetings. He would say, “Sweet Pea, come in her for a minute.” I would hate walking in there. He would pat the side of his chair and ask me to sit down. I wouldn’t. I would blush with an awkward laugh and walk back out. He would then tell the men in the office, “look at her…look at those legs”.
He would stand in the doorway of his office and watch me or ask me to go get something so he could watch me walk away. This was when women (although I truly was a girl) had to wear dresses. Mine were appropriate but probably shorter than women his age were wearing.
One day, another Chief Master Sergeant (I have misplaced/buried his name) was waiting by my desk before he went in to see Sergeant Miller. We were chatting (he was and I was being respectful) and Sergeant Miller asked him what he was doing. His reply? His reply was, “I’m getting ready to make love to this sweet young thing”.
I’m a VIRGIN. His saying that horrified me. I’m sure I turned 10 shades of red as I sat there dumbfounded. What he said was beyond inappropriate and disrespectful. I had no clue what to do. There was no way I could/would tell my parents. I did tell my boyfriend who wanted to go after the sergeant who outranked him by many levels.
Why ddin’t I say something? Why don’t women speak up at the time? I can speak for myself. I was a kid. My first real job after high school before I headed off to bible college. I knew there was an end in sight. I also felt helpless and like this is what you have to put up with when working with men. Don’t make a big deal out if. It’s not like anyone actually physically touched me. Oh, the voices in my head.
It’s wrong. It should not ever be tolerated. I hope my nieces and grand nieces and my friends’ daughters will grow up being taught to stand up for themselves and to speak up when what is being said feels like harassment. If it feels like harassment, it’s harassment.